Not only does it feel endless for no cause, but I'm trapped in a blindly racist bubble that isn't even aware of its own racism because society has implanted standards and ideals of how life should play out. When people imagine a perfect wedding on a perfect day in the perfect place to the perfect person, people don't have an image of someone like me. The issue is, we live in this place where the dominating religion, education system, and business latter all have made a point that perfection is a rich, handsome/beautiful, talented, charismatic person. There are many of those things I don't fall under as well as many others. People don't see an Asian guy and think "man of my dreams". They see a strange guy from a strange land that most likely doesn't speak English. Well, I'll set the record straight. I was born in Korea, but I grew up here, I study English and am currently pursuing a degree in English. I am as much an American as anyone else, so quit your racism --blatant or not! The same thing applies to other cultures. A black man is just a black man. Just because someone is Hispanic doesn't mean they are necessarily poor, dirty, or Spanish-only speakers.
Overall, I just wish this place that I'm attempting to be comfortable in would recognize me as its own. Unfortunately, I can't stand this place for the very reasons I described. I need to get out. I need an escape.