Sometimes I feel like my opinion isn't noticed. It's like I'm the one that says something and then people chuckle and move from it. I feel like I can't truly express myself because of the people I surround myself with. Whether it be about music or television or food. I just wish I would be heard more rather than pushed aside as nothing. People have gotten really good at nodding and saying yes or yeah around me. I need it to stop. Like I've said before, I need something big, something moving to happen soon, or I might just explode.
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Have you ever felt like you were running in water; swimming upstream? Has it ever been exhausting living your day to day? Sometimes, to me, it feels like I have no escape, like I'm running along the side of a ring, forced to chase the end of the circle forever. I wake up and go to a job that I hate to get me through school for a degree I'm unsure about. It's like each person is to present an incredible talent to a high ruler and when I arrive, my talent is just being able to be a mediocre musician, writer, speaker, and person in general.
Not only does it feel endless for no cause, but I'm trapped in a blindly racist bubble that isn't even aware of its own racism because society has implanted standards and ideals of how life should play out. When people imagine a perfect wedding on a perfect day in the perfect place to the perfect person, people don't have an image of someone like me. The issue is, we live in this place where the dominating religion, education system, and business latter all have made a point that perfection is a rich, handsome/beautiful, talented, charismatic person. There are many of those things I don't fall under as well as many others. People don't see an Asian guy and think "man of my dreams". They see a strange guy from a strange land that most likely doesn't speak English. Well, I'll set the record straight. I was born in Korea, but I grew up here, I study English and am currently pursuing a degree in English. I am as much an American as anyone else, so quit your racism --blatant or not! The same thing applies to other cultures. A black man is just a black man. Just because someone is Hispanic doesn't mean they are necessarily poor, dirty, or Spanish-only speakers. Overall, I just wish this place that I'm attempting to be comfortable in would recognize me as its own. Unfortunately, I can't stand this place for the very reasons I described. I need to get out. I need an escape. |
AuthorMatthew Petrucci characterizes himself as a kind and friendly person. Writing, music, and any sort of artistic hobby suits Matthew as entertainment and enjoyable. He embraces close friendships and remains true and loyal to those who take him in. Archives
January 2016
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