I can feel something; something pulling at me, something invisible, like a ghost. I cannot see, only blackness can I grasp, barely within reach. I cannot feel, only the tugging sensation on my heart; my soul. What does this apparition; this fiend, want with me and how am I to stop it? I feel so helpless.
My heart throbs like the running of a race and then it stops, or so I think. The sudden plummet of all sense misguides me. The air, trees, shimmering flecks of light, everything is blurring around me. I am lost. The dragging continues, like a biting or gnawing at my innards. In a quick moment, all nonsense and chaotic thrash stops. In what felt like a century of torment and suffering, sense returned to my mind. Lunacy melted away with a sort of calm drifting slowly about me.
My eyes struggle to open, but finally do, only to see darkness once again. It’s unending. However, this darkness is not nearly as black as the shadow that hung over my eyes prior to waking. I know I am here, whereas before it felt as if I ceased to exist, hung among the voids of darkness. It was thick like a heavy fog. It’s gone now, and I guess that’s all that matters.
I sit up, using my tired hands to assist me. The ground beneath me is soft and slightly moist. My hands sink into the material like it’s a sponge.
Where am I? This place I don’t recognize as a place I’ve visited before. It doesn’t feel like I am intoxicated and I just hope I didn’t get in trouble with people I shouldn’t have. Streams of pain stretch along my spine. Maybe I was abducted and dumped here. My mind was beginning to wander. One question produces new questions which all lead to me arguing with myself in my head. Whatever the reason, I have to figure out where I am and how to escape. Maybe this is one of those torture chambers with no end; an enclosed abyss with a prisoner left to wander aimlessly forever. The chamber must be like a fish tank, with each end becoming a dead end, but without me ever knowing.
I shake the though from my mind. I notice trees towering over me in all directions; trees as tall as the reach of the sky, it seems. Only flickers of dim light glow my surroundings, much like a dying firefly. They dance gracefully in a swaying pattern, breaking through the canopy of leaves, moving all in unison.
As I lift myself from my intended grave, or maybe landing strip from a chaotic night, the soles of both of my feet cringe in a stinging pain like needles penetrating my bones. I notice a small wall, probably shin-high, a few meters behind me. Aged dirt slightly discolors the cold-colored stone. It looks much like the wall is meant to create a mini bridge over a small flow of water. It’s the dry season, so only trickles of water survive the scorching heat.
Perpendicular to the stream is a path, which crosses over the bridge and crawls wildly through the maze of trees and vanishes. Although the path doesn’t appear to have been used recently, it still shows signs of civilization.
The air, I notice has brightened up a bit. More light is better than no light. Wherever that path leads, it must be going somewhere. If the path was used even in the past decade, it should mean that people are coming from somewhere or going to another place. Either way, I know I need to find one or the other. I decide to follow it follow the direction the shadows point. That way, if the sun does rise, it’s not burning my eyes out.
Part Two: Visitor
I head out and snake my way along with the guiding trail. My shadow stretches far ahead of myself like a tall shadowy character. He seems to be slithering across the ground preparing the way. However, with each passing moment, the shadow shrinks until it’s almost nonexistent.
As the sun peaks in the sky, I am forced to tighten my eyes. Even with the overhead blanket of leaves and plant life, plenty of light breaks through and makes it difficult to focus. The constant flickering due to canopy acts almost as strobe lights flashing right over my eyes.
In a short break, I sit up against a large rock and stare up towards the high noon sun. The canopy is silhouetted into a kaleidoscope of monochrome. Black and whites flash in my pupils even after looking away. I realized staring at the sun was a bad idea, so I decide to just stare into the dirt in front of me. That’s when I saw him, or her, or it. Whatever it is, I think it may be my way back.
With that, I got to my feet and followed the direction of the figure I had seen. It had passed by so quickly, I wasn’t sure what it was. I recall it looking like a shadow, but anything was hard to see after staring at sunlight long enough. It moved like a human, with paced strides, carefully placed footsteps. However, it wasn’t walking at a normal pace, it was at least power walking, but more like a jog. It was jogging in a walking manner. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone jog-walk.
In pursuit of the shadowy figure, I found it again, but it seemed to notice my presence. The jog-walk continues, almost too smoothly. I don’t believe what I’m seeing.
Now, my curiosity has increased immensely. What is this thing that seems to be running from me? Why won’t it turn around, and what’s it doing here? The ground slowly becomes an incline and the once nice dirt path seemed to sprout large, awkward, rocks.
I stumble up the incline, chasing a shadow like an idiot.
Is this really happening? I feel myself losing purpose. Climbing through the mess of stones, I watch the shadow suddenly vanish.
Where did it go? It must be playing games with me.
I finally reach the peak, but fall into a sudden drop-off where loose sand slides down in a slippery descent. The smooth sand drags me downward. I feel captive to its shifting grasp. I fall to the edge of an old highway, littered with leaves like a natural blanket.
Standing on my side of the road, my eyes notice a woman, still quite young; her skin like delicate fabrics, so soft and smooth. Golden caramel locks of hair sway down covering the majority of her face. She taunts me, I can see it. I don’t know why, but my uncontrollable body is being urged in her direction. The skin near her waist peeks from a tight shirt, slightly lifted up from her body’s edifice. The closer I get, the more attractive she becomes. She dances in a way that begs me to fall before her feet. There were small cuts and tears in the cloth of her pants, revealing small patches of exposed flesh.
I’ll ask her where a city or town is, although, it feels like I’m getting nearer.
With only a few steps before I reach this goddess, my mind runs wild. I can imagine making this woman my bride and a beautiful life with her. I don’t necessarily love her, but there’s some tug on my heart. The craziest thing is I recognize her face. It’s a thing so familiar, yet I cannot identify it. My hand reaches out to stroke her arm; to feel her, but with a smooth motion, it passes straight through her skin. I am left with a cold shivering feeling in my hand. I am taken aback.
How can this be? She is clearly human being standing directly in front of me. This can’t be; I must be having some sort of hallucination.
I step backwards in confusion. Having better view of this gorgeous woman, scanning her figure from her feet and steadily upward towards her head, she changes. Slowly, her image, smiling slightly at me, fades away like the stars at dawn. I stare desperately at where her eyes were just a few seconds earlier. Standing in the distance, behind where she had been, there almost mocking me, stands that shadow I had somehow managed to forget.
It lifts its head, but a cloth hood veils the face and then it runs recklessly to the far side of the road. I, also, dart across the road and run continually toward the silhouette; the faceless figure.
Part Three: The Devil’s Playground
The opposite side of the road declines into a cement gulley used normally to regulate water transportation. However, the time of season lacks in water supply. A tiny stream littered with nature’s trash; leaves and such, leads straight into a dark endless-looking tunnel. Just beyond the tunnel is a small cave.
Unsure of the whereabouts of the figure, I decide to crawl into the cave, feeling like a child playing games. The cave walls shrink inward and the ceiling falls heavy towards me, as if the cave were alive and trying to crush me with each moment. Thin light beams shine through the crevasses and natural holes that time and moisture have not yet filled. Humidity and the chemical toxins of the cave burn my lungs, making it difficult to breathe. At this point, I’m army crawling through the puddles of ancient mud, closing in on the source of the light.
A thin hole in the wall forces me to hold my breath while I pull desperately through. A large cavern chapel of stalactites and stalagmites create the vision of a large church, designed with natural pillars lining every wall. This is the end of the cave. Near the front of the room, the formations of the cave made a structure, much like an altar.
Sitting on the altar is the emanation of light. As if a gift or offering, displayed so coincidentally is a large golden sculpture of an angel. The wings reach far out to either side of its body and a halo looms down over its head. The angel is kneeling, with both hands clasped together in prayer.
I inch closer to feel it, but when my hand touches one of the wings, the angel cries. It’s not normal tears, but instead blood begins to flow from its closed eyes.
What the hell? This must be devised of the devil.
Without any more thought of taking it, I turn and in quick motion, force my way through the tiny hole and crawl as quickly as possible out of the cave. The walls expand again and I stand in a crouch, still running. The cave opens up and I trip and fall into the drying river just outside of the rocky gate to hell.
I look back to see if this devil is chasing after me, but there’s no cave. No sign of a cave. Had I imagined all that? No. I know I saw that angel…or that devil. The cave had squeezed me inward, towards the damned Devil himself, disguising himself as a golden angel. Damn fiend.
I stand up and fearfully walk away from the location of the cave; the hellish torment which entered into the presence of the banished one. I look skeptically at the tunnel before me.
Is this another trap; another gate of hell, drawing me in? Is that shadow the devil or a spawn of the devil? Why the hell am I so ignorantly chasing a vision; an image of something much more evil than I could even know?
As I enter the black, I can feel a moist wall build around me in the air. My lungs start heaving with the feeling of giving in and collapsing, much like in the cave. I don’t know if I should continue, but it’s not nearly as crammed in here.
Stumbling about, I come upon a gradual incline of rocks, again using both hands to crawl up this mess of earth until reaching the edge where I can once again see peeks of light. There it is; silhouetted so conveniently. The shadow perches neatly on a bridge-like structure. I can see the outline of its face turn to me and as if beckoning me to follow, falls; falls into an abyss. Senseless and unaware of my actions, I willingly join it, leaping into the unknown.
Now, I wonder, while falling about my conclusion soon approaching. Maybe I have been chasing an illusion to only come upon my own demise.
Falling; it seems like a slow-motion replay. Over and over, I feel the action of lunging from safety into nothing. Then, without hesitation, my body splashes into deep cold water. I scramble to the surface to catch my breath. What if this goes on endlessly however, like a trap? I shut my eyes and almost give up hope, but the current lifts my limp body up into reality. I gasp like my life depends on it and slowly gather myself again.
I spin my soaking head around to adjust to my new surroundings, but catch a drift of the vilest odor. Swimming out toward the shore, I see that damned shadow taunting me.
Exiting the black and closing in on the shore, I notice a huge detail. The light gives much new perspective on one’s surroundings. The water I had been stirring about in, was in fact, not water at all. The crimson shore screamed of death and horror.
Once free from the chilled and gruesome river, I launch myself at this shadow, but it vanishes. I slide to the edge of the mountain. The loose sand beneath my sore feet suddenly shifts and I tumble through sagebrush and other plant life.
I pick myself up slowly and in pain, glancing around. Giant pine trees tower in every direction, standing far above my ability of sight.
I think to myself how crazy this is. Why am I chasing a shadow; a figure I do not even recognize? I feel like a pawn in the game of cat and mouse. Where does this image want me to go? What am I supposed to see? It brought me here, so I am going to find out what it wants.
There is no specified trail here, so I follow a sort of lining the trees make. Then I see it again, this time sprinting, but in my direction.
My mind is now made up; I will stand my ground and will not back down. A large dark hood is shading the face of the figure charging me. I cannot see hands; in fact, I cannot see any flesh on this creature. What the hell is this?
I crouch myself in a defense position. It gets closer and closer. Thump! Thump! My heart echoes a sound only I can hear. Thump! Thump! The motion of the beast seems so quick, but slow at the same time. Thump! Thump!
The figure is nearly right in front of me and I am close upon success of identifying this vision; this illusion. Silence dominates in this moment, even my heartbeat chokes in anxiety and fear.
At its last step, the figure takes a left and in a flash, is a quarter of a mile to my right.
I chase it once more and for several moments on the same path of a dirt trail, my fears affix themselves to my every thought. My breath is loud in my ears. I look at the trail, recognizing this strange and bewildering pathway.
Why does it feel like a rush of déjà vu? I have never been here. I try to convince myself; persuade my mind to reject this idea.
Then, in a swift motion, I spin around and resume my pursuit. Twenty feet from my previous position lay the beginning of a small concrete wall on either side of the path. Examining the opposite of one wall, I find a shoe print. Reaching for my shoe, I slowly remove it, matching the sole to the impression in the dirt.
Suddenly, my head begins spinning. I see a shadow; it is approaching me slowly. It lifts its hood to reveal its true identity. I am taken aback at the person standing in front of me.
I stand face to face with my own worst enemy; me. I had been chasing myself all this time and for what? There must be a reason.
As if understanding my thoughts, the reflection of me steps to the side. I almost cry from fear and regret. Why is she here? What is this supposed to mean?
I hurt her. I caused her terrible pain. I was selfish. I cared; I was only scared of you.
“It’s okay. I forgive you.” Jennifer’s voice, audible like a distant echo, but so loud in my ears, is so sweet; even to this day. My face is drowned in tears; tears of regret, but tears of joy.
“Goodbye. I have to go.” Jennifer steps backward and I shout out for her not to leave, all the light, everything blurs and pulls away from me.
I am lying in darkness once again. Sitting up, my body aches. I put my hand out to stand myself up, but gravity spites me and I fall. This time however, I fall maybe one foot off of my bed. Joy fills my entire body to know I escaped. My face is still wet with tears.
I only whisper her name in the air, “Jennifer.”